every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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