She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
