you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
