If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
