you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
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i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize