hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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