wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
