Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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