Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
