Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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