he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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