I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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