Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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