dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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