this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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