you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
