I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
