Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
