Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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