Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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