In the future we'll all be gay
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We need to get me chipped asap
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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