In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
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id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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