Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
cat food counts as protein by the way
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize