im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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