For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize