Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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