I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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