It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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