i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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