Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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