i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
