Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
