O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize