Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
