Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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