Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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