Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
