my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
