is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
