He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
