There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
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