I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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