I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Watching her eat just hurts me
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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