i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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