exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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