Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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