Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
