I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
