So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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