If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
