No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
