we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
