I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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