so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
