my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
