i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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