the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
