dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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