If i could tip my vagina, i would.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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